Shay Carl of The Shaytards Admits To Having Suicidal Thoughts After Cheating Scandal

Shay Carl Butler cheating

Shay Carl posted a video entitled “I’m Sorry” on YouTube and shared the video with Twitter followers. Many Shaytards fans condemned the father-of-five for his actions. Shay Carl agreed with the comments and admitted that betraying his family is a large reason that he has been feeling suicidal.

Shay Carl made a slow return to social media after announcing his break from YouTube back in March due to personal issues. Shay posted a series of tweets about his struggles and revealed that he has forgiven himself.

RELATED: The Shaytards Return To YouTube After A Year Hiatus

In a series of tweets, Shay said that he’s suffered from severe personal struggles over the past nine months but now he’s sober.

“Been sober for 4 months and 3 days now…It gets easier every day.”

Shay said that the kids have noticed a change in him.

“My kids say my eyes look ‘clear’ again…Deciding to forgive myself tonight.”

After revealing in February that he was battling with alcoholism, he said his time away from the internet and fans, he battled many conflicting feelings. The last nine months wasn’t as easy as he thought.

“For the last 9 months, I’ve become well-acquainted with regret, gloom, shame, remorse, hate, rage, fear and DEPRESSION! They haunt my moments.”

Shay’s announcement that he would be leaving YouTube for an indefinite period of time came on the heels that he had been having an online romance with cam girl, Aria Nina.

“I made the worst mistake of my life and everyone saw it. It’s been the very first time I commiserated with those that suffer suicide.”

Shay continued to tweet on Tuesday that he had stood on a ledge with a handful of drapes in one hand and “a bottle of whiskey in the other.”

Shay continued, “I flee from that moment constantly … These things may crush me. Can’t hide anymore. Can’t continue to fill this shame bucket anymore. Can’t wait for forgiveness anymore.”

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